Instead of Pulling Out Our Comparison Charts, Let’s Give Each Other Grace Today

comparison

It never even occurred to me that other moms might be struggling too. Grace didn’t cross my mind. A simple word that embodies so much, but one we so easily overlook, forget and brush away like yesterday’s leftovers. During my first year as a mother, I so badly needed it.

I looked at other moms in their mini vans and carpools and thought they had it all together. Our little rancher on 30th Street served as my retreat, and I walked the tired road of motherhood with little companionship or outlet.

Isolation can take your weariness to a new level.

There is something about getting out, throwing on the lipgloss and the shoes and breathing fresh air, even if it’s in the confines of a mall, that gives life.

One day in the middle of September, I received an unexpected knock on our door. Another mom who went to our church stood with her two young children on either side of her, food in hand. She didn’t care that it was after noon and I was still in my PJs. She didn’t care that I looked like a train wreck and the toys weren’t picked up.

I escaped the confines of those brick walls and when I returned, I felt prepared to go another round.

Eventually, I started going to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meetings and Bible studies and I discovered something: All of these moms who I thought of as veterans were struggling too. They experienced the sleepless nights and the toddlers who would only eat noodles. They were human, like me.

When we put away our comparison charts and extend grace, the long road of motherhood becomes more joyful.

It’s then that we realize that the mom with the perfect hair and make-up has her own set of problems, and she needs a listening ear just like we do. We see that by being real and authentic, we let the Light shine through us, instead of putting up a facade of perfection.

So today, if there’s another mom you’ve been avoiding because she seems like she has it all figured out, try starting a conversation with her. It’s amazing how much we learn when extend a simple, “hello.” And then we say something other than, “I’m fine,” or “We’re good.” When we let someone in.

That is when real community starts. That is when grace starts.

And a life without grace is no life at all. Reach out to another mom and extend the very breath of life.

Give grace.

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16 thoughts on “Instead of Pulling Out Our Comparison Charts, Let’s Give Each Other Grace Today

  1. Wow, Abby, this post PREACHES to moms everywhere! I love it. It’s so true, we are all in this together. I tend to forget that I’m not the only one struggling, as well. That’s the one great thing that this online community has taught me and I believe the reason we need each other as much as we do. The constant reminder that we are not alone. Thank you for linking up again today! Always a treat. 🙂 xoxo, Meredith

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  2. Beautiful reflections. You are a great writer and eloquently described many moms’ feelings- felt like I was reading a book. Do you have plans for one?:)

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    • Thank you so much, Katie. That is so encouraging to hear. 🙂 Yes, I am in the process of a book proposal that I’ll be presenting at She Speaks. We shall see… it is in God’s hands and there is so much peace in that.

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  3. It really is somehow so easy to forget that others are struggling with things just as we are. What a great post this is, reminding me that we all surely need grace every single day and that we are not alone in our struggles. Thank you for sharing!

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  4. I remember when I was having some trouble breastfeeding my son, I was super resentful towards a friend of mine who nursed easily and without issue for 13+ months. It was only much later that I learned she faced some of the same struggles I did at the beginning. I wished I had opened up to her much sooner instead of assuming her situation was so much better than mine!

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    • Yeah, breastfeeding had it’s ups and downs for me too. It’s definitely an area where moms can use extra support! Thanks for sharing today, Katie.

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  5. Spot on, as usual. I used to be the mom that worked all the time and was so surprised how difficult it was to find another mom to help me. Now that I am more flexible and not working full time, I offer before I’m asked. I feel certain it’s what I am being called to do. To do good with my newfound flexibility. And I am amazed when others look for an ulterior motive behind the offer. Why can’t we just help each other and not keep score? Luckily, no one ever mistakes me for that mom that’s got it all together!

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    • I love that you offer to help without being asked, Lisa. I believe that we are all called to do that in some area of our lives. And I’m sure no one mistakes me as the mom who has it all together either… 😉

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  6. I’m catching up in my reading of some of my favorite blogs today, yours being one of them. Beautiful post, as usual, Abby. Such hope-filled and encouraging words for us moms (or for anyone for that matter)! Thank you for them. So glad I stopped in today. May God continue to use you mightily to encourage others!

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    • Hi Julie, it is so great to hear from you again! I hope you had a wonderful vacation. The pictures are gorgeous and make me ready for the couple of days we will be spending there next month. Thank you for your encouragement today.

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