When Communication With Your Spouse Breaks Down

The snarky remark came tumbling out of my mouth before I had time to think about the outcome. I saw the look on my husband’s face, and I knew I shouldn’t have said it. Immediately, I began trying to explain away the hurt already caused.

But the words were already out there, the line of communication severed. My husband was trying to ease my worry over a stressful financial situation, but instead of hearing him I’d decided to defend my attitude.

We often focus more on being right than trying to mend the wound, don’t we? Our pride blinds us from seeing the damage that is growing with each syllable.

My instincts told me to get defensive. After all, hadn’t I tried to address this situation a week ago? We’d exchanged a few sentences over the subject and I thought we were on the same page.

When it comes to relationships, assuming the other person can see the inner workings of your mind only leads to frustration and disappointment.

If I’d talked to my husband about the matter nearly as much as I’d thought about it, perhaps we would understand each other. But between kids and bedtimes and chores and other demands, somehow the conversation kept getting put off. Over and over. Until the tension mounted and my snide words came tumbling into the room.

In my tiredness I had let the mind-numbing noise of the T.V. do the talking for us both for weeks on end, but The Voice doesn’t do a very good job of voicing my thoughts.

As I stood there in the kitchen regretting my words, I realized the need for me to be intentional. The need to communicate with my husband instead of just thinking about it. That means not trying to have a conversation when I’m rushing out the door to make an appointment or assuming that he knows what’s bothering me without my taking the time to explain it.

When I don’t take the time to communicate with my spouse, I sever the bond that unifies our marriage.

Proverbs 25:24 says, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have my husband in the house with me than on the corner of a roof. Nor do I want be the reason he wants to live there. I want to our kids to see a unit that is strong, healthy and reflective of Christ.

And a healthy marriage is not something we simply find. It is something we have to work toward. Each and every day.

I knew I was wrong after uttering those hurtful words and I apologized. I explained what I wrongfully assumed my husband already knew, and we made plans to sit down and talk about a solution.

If there is a problem or cause of tension that is creating disfunction in your marriage, can I encourage you to sit down and talk to your spouse about it? One of the worst reactions is to simply do nothing.

When we invite our partner into our world, the loneliness and stress start to dissipate. When we realize that we’re working together as a team, we become stronger.

 

*Photo credit (text added)

*Linking up with Suzie Eller’s #LiveFreeThursday. Come join us and be inspired.