I will never forget the moment when I finally got it. When it finally sank in. I was sitting on the couch of our 30th St. Rancher in Ogden, Utah reading The Purpose Driven Life with my husband. The opening chapter is aptly named, “It’s Not About You,” and those words changed my life.
I made the decision to follow Jesus while reading that book, and for the first time, I understood what that meant. Surrender. Seeing him in every decision I make, everything that I do. Putting Him front and center.
I had prayed the sinner’s prayer several times growing up. But I never got it. It was more of an emotional response than a life changing decision.
I also was petrified of getting up in front of hundreds of people to proclaim my faith to everyone.
Although I made the decision in the privacy of my home, the next day our pastor decided to end the service with an open baptism. Unannounced. As I looked at my husband, knowing what I should do, I was scared. But I also knew it was my time.
As the pastor lifted me up out of the water and asked me to proclaim my faith I looked out into the audience and tried to make out faces, but everything was a blur. The bright light made it difficult to see.
Although I can’t remember everything I said I do remember saying this: “I don’t have to be alone anymore.”
I have been passionate about writing for as long as I can remember, but for most of my life I never shared my writing with anyone. I blog because of the experience I had that night on the couch. I write because words matter, and because somewhere, someone thinks they’re alone in their struggles, their depression, their doubts and fears.
I write to scream in the loudest voice I have, “You are not alone.”
I write because it is my voice.
*This post was written for Five Minute Friday. A beautiful, bold group of writers who free write on one word each Friday. Today’s word was: because. Click the button below to learn more.