When You Don’t Feel Qualified to Do What God Is Asking

People tell me I’m a slow talker. Whether it’s because of my southern roots or because I’m constantly thinking about what I say before I say it, my words don’t come spewing out at breakneck speed.

Most days I’m okay with it. But every now and then, I wish I could turn off my brain and just speak. I know, that doesn’t make any sense but you get the picture. I want words to flow without thought of how they sound, whether my audience is understanding me or whether they’re offended by I’m saying.

A couple of years ago I attended my first writers’ conference and when people learned I was working on a book, the typical next question was, “What’s it about?” It was a question I both loved and loathed at the same time, but it was good practice for me. Explaining my heart’s desire to women I barely knew stretched me and forced me to get outside my head.

But part of me longed to run to my hotel room and slam the door. I felt unqualified. I was overwhelmed by the audacity of what the Lord was asking me to do: to open myself up and share a vulnerable message others could both understand and relate to. I looked around me at writers who had huge platforms, thousands of followers and fans and wondered what I was doing there.

In all my insecurity, I forgot about the truth the Lord spoke to me months earlier. He didn’t call me because I was qualified.

He didn’t choose me because of my impressive resume or my list of credentials. He chose me because I had a willing heart. A heart that longed to share the message he’d given me with other women who struggled with fear of never being enough or feeling confident in their roles as wife, mother, friend and follower of Christ.

Recently I was having another episode of anxiety over something I felt strongly the Lord was calling me to do. He brought me to the story of Moses’ call to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When the Lord told Moses what he wanted him to do, he protested. A lot.

Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled. 

Exodus 4:10 NLT

Moses was full of excuses and reasons why he couldn’t do what the Lord was asking him to do. But for every protest, the Lord assured him it wasn’t his strength or ability that the Israelites would need. It was the Lord’s.

It wasn’t Moses’ job to provide the miracle. He was simply a vessel for the Lord to show his power.

Often when I’m trying to follow the path the Lord has set before me, I become preoccupied with figuring out steps two, three and four when he’s only asked me to take step one. After I take step one, he shows me what he wants me to do next. But I can’t take those next steps if I’m in a frozen state, trying to see what’s ahead.

Sometimes we have to take that first step of faith before we see the next one the Lord has already set before us.

And the more we walk, we see how we don’t need to have the entire blueprint of God’s plan in front of us. We don’t have to boast a long set of credentials or an impressive resume with all the right skills.

We simply have to put one foot in front of the other.

 

Linking up with these communities: #RaRaLinkup, #IntentionalTuesday

When Your Faith Is Attacked

I looked at the words typed across my screen in disbelief, not knowing what to do. Should I ignore the person? Block them? My spirit stirred and I felt shaken, stumbling for my footing.

Sure it was social media and I couldn’t see the other person’s face. But it felt very personal. This guy was attacking my faith, something as vital to me as breathing. I remembered the words of Peter to the church and decided to answer his question.

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…

1 Peter 3:15 NIV

In a few sentences, this person was asking me to prove the existence of God. While I knew I couldn’t do this in 100 character tweets, I shared what I could. I told about answered prayers that couldn’t be explained. Things which couldn’t be justified by logic, reason and even doctors.

But no matter what I said, it wasn’t enough. More questions came pouring into my Twitter feed and when I brought up my testimony, another user decided to jump in.

If I was shaken before, at this point I was ready to retreat.

Will you continue reading with me? Today I’m honored to be sharing over at Walking Deeper. In the middle of this struggle, God showed me a powerful truth. You can read the rest of my post here.

3 Truths to Remember When God Asks You to Wait

I wish I was a morning person. In hundreds of little ways, it would make life easier. But until I’ve had my first or sometimes third cup of coffee, my words during those early hours are few.

There is one thing other than school schedules and kids’ activities that will get me out of bed before the sun, though. Even on a vacation when my boys are still sleeping, I will roll out of the covers, tip toe across the floor and slip on my flip-flops. It’s a sunrise. More specifically, a sunrise over the ocean. My love for photography and nature makes me ignore the tug of the warm mattress, yawning all the way to the boardwalk.

Last year in early summer, I knew we only had a couple of days left on our beach trip. I snuck outside in the wee hours, toting my Nikon and wide-angle lens with me. As soon as my feet hit the sand, the humid air hit me like a wet cloak and gnats greeted my face. The comfy bed beckoned me back.

I walked down the shoreline and realized it was already noticeably bright out. Had I missed the sun?

Will you continue reading with me? Today I’m sharing 3 truths I hold onto when God asks me to wait. You can find me over at iBelieve. Click here to read the rest of my post.

Linking up with these communities: #RaRaLinkup, #IntentionalTuesday

The One Thing to Remember in the Face of Rejection

I remember watching my firstborn get his first taste of rejection. He was about two at the time, and he leaned in to give his older female playmate a kiss.

On the mouth.

She looked at him, wide-eyed and a little mortified, and backed away. I couldn’t help but chuckle but my sweet toddler took it in stride. He knew he was cute, and her lack of interest didn’t stifle his confidence.

We kiss in our family. We show unrestrained love. But I know that once we go outside the walls of this home, those unstated rules of conduct change. My two-year-old didn’t know these rules but at that age, who does?

As he’s gotten older, the tide has shifted. Rejection hurts. I remember the first time he cried after a spat with a friend who said, “I’m not your friend anymore.” I’ve seen kids come in and out of his life, sometimes later to return.

He’s usually able to roll with the stings and the snubs, but he’s not bulletproof. And I don’t want him to be. As much as I’d love to see him never cry, get hurt or given a cold shoulder from a friend, I know he has to experience these things to truly live.

Will you continue reading with me? Today I’m sharing what God taught me about rejection over at Purposeful Faith. You can read the rest of my post here.

His Invitation is as Unique as We Are {Book Review & Giveaway}

“Come with me,” is one of my four-year-old’s favorite requests. Actually, it’s more like a command. You see, he has lots of things he wants to show everyone. His newest discoveries, creations and accomplishments.

Every day, our Creator opens his eyes to new things, and it is beautiful to watch. I can kneel beside him and reclaim some of that childlike wonder I lost as an adult. I chase butterflies and bubbles as he squeals with delight, making it impossible for me not to laugh.

But the latest creation we chased? Well, that one was my favorite. We chased the sun.

A couple of weeks ago we traveled to my sister-in-law’s college for her graduation and toward the end of the car ride, the sun was setting. The horizon turned a spectacular shade of orange, and the sun would occasionally hide behind the hills and trees.

As soon as my little one saw it, he bubbled with excitement.

“Look at the color! Look!”

Then, it would disappear and the chase would start.

“We have to find sun, Dadda! We have to find it! It’s hiding.”

My husband and I could not stop smiling as our four-year-old hunted the sun with complete determination. As I trailed it with him I wondered when we lose that. When does the God’s creation become something we take for granted?

Then, as darkness took over and the sun “went to sleep” I thought, “What if we had that same childlike wonder in our relationship with the Lord? What if, instead of doubt and fear, we reclaimed a sense of awe as we followed his lead into the unknown?”

When I received my copy of Suzanne Eller’s book, Come with Me, I knew I was going to be challenged. One can look at the blurb on the back cover and be assured of that. But what I didn’t expect was the awakening which would take place in my heart. I didn’t see how Jesus’ invitation to, “Come with me,” can be as unique and individual as we are.

One of the many beautiful attributes of the gospel message is the way God makes it come alive to each one of us. As I sat there with my book, reading about the disciples, their struggles and their questions, I realized I wasn’t just a spectator.

I was one of them. I am one of them. And just like Peter, John and Thomas, Jesus wants to use me.

My journey won’t look like everyone else’s. It may mean traveling to a foreign land or it could be sitting in a newborn’s bedroom, rocking through the midnight shift. I could be sharing my story with hundreds of people or it might be loving on one single mom in my kitchen.

The significance of accepting Jesus’ invitation to “come with me” isn’t in what we do. It’s in the faith it requires to take the first step. 

And then another. And another.

We may not know where we’re going, but we can trust the person we’re following. We don’t have to chase him the way my four-year-old and I chased the sun, but we can have the same childlike excitement.

Because it’s going to be a beautiful adventure.

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If you’re at a point in your life where you want more of Jesus, I highly recommend Suzanne Eller’s book, Come with Me. She will take you by the hand and sit among the disciples with you as you explore what Jesus’ invitation to “come with me” meant and how it was as unique as you are.

You can pick up a copy of Come with Me here.

GIVEAWAY:

Also, comment below and be entered to win a free copy from me! I will announce the winner or Tuesday, May 24th.

When Loneliness Is a Blessing

I remember the first time we drove through this small town tucked into hills of Western Maryland. It was a cold, rainy day and a heavy fog hung over us like a blanket.

As we made our way across the overpass and I looked down at the place I would later call home, I thought, “Oh God, what have I done?” My husband and I were going to be living here in a few months, and I had agreed to the move here sight unseen.

I looked out my window and I thought about the friends we’d be leaving, the church where we’d thrived, and the snowy peaks outside our doorstep in Utah. Had we gone crazy? One what planet did we decide this was a good idea, to pick our family up and move cross country for the second time in five years?

And yet, in late January during one of the coldest winters on record, that is exactly what we did.

After living with my in-laws for a few months while looking for a house, we finally found a place to raise our growing family. We were expecting our second son, and I was eager get active in the community. But the more we tried to fit, to find a church family and make friends, the more elusive our desires became.

Will you continue reading with me? Today I’m honored to be sharing in Bethany McIlrath’s Word Works series. You can read the rest of my post here.

Linking up with these communities: #RaRaLinkup, #IntentionalTuesday, #CoffeeForYourHeart

When We Give Our Doubt a Voice

“So what are you going to do?”

It was an honest question, but it hurt. My new acquaintance was already getting on my nerves, and after responding with feigned confidence, I made my exit as politely as possible and went looking for my husband.

Doubt can be such a lonely place.

I was seven months pregnant and my husband and I were living over two thousand miles from the place I’d spent my entire life. We had no family nearby and friends were slow in coming.

So the question, “What are you going to do?” was very real, but I hadn’t voiced it out loud. Whenever it darkened my thoughts I’d recite trite phrases like, “sink or swim,” but the cliché didn’t make me feel any better or make the uncertainty go away.

I knew nothing about babies and I trapped myself in a cell of my own making, afraid to give a voice to the thoughts which filled my head. I saw other moms who seemed to possess such unshakable confidence and wondered why I couldn’t grasp hold of any.

For months, I feared giving my doubt a voice. I thought speaking it out loud would give it life. As long as I kept it buried, never sharing it or voicing it, I believed it would simply go away.

But the longer I kept it buried, the more it continued to grow.

If we look at scripture, we encounter many men and women of God who experienced doubt. But few of them move me and shake me more than Thomas, who is often dubbed “Doubting Thomas.”

Thomas didn’t just doubt inwardly. He spoke it loudly and without hesitation. When the disciples told him they had seen the risen Lord, he declared he wouldn’t believe until felt the scars on his hands and placed his fingers into his side. (John 20:25)

Pretty bold in his uncertainty, wasn’t he? And do you know what happened when he uttered those words of disbelief?

Jesus appeared to him. Not as a passerby or by chance, but specifically for the purpose of helping Thomas believe.

Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

John 20:27 NIV

When we give our doubt a voice, Jesus can expel it with his voice.

Doubt, when wrestled through and given a name, can create greater faith.

Jesus didn’t appear to Thomas and rebuke him for doubting or punish him for saying something so outrageous. He gave him want his heart desired, followed by a straightforward command, “Believe.”

I spent my first year as a mom not believing. In myself, in God’s ability to use me, or anything else. I hid my doubt and disbelief because I was ashamed.

Over time, God used some beautiful women in my life to show me it was okay to open up the vault and be real. And when I voiced my true feelings, my darkness was met with his Light.

Are you facing a wall of doubt today, but afraid to speak the words aloud? Can I encourage you? Speak. Come before the throne of grace and speak.

He takes those thoughts of “not enough,” and “not worthy” and shows us He is able to provide more than we can ask, think or imagine.

And like Thomas, whose bold declaration of doubt brought a face to face encounter with Jesus, we can say nothing but, “My Lord and My God!”

Fall at the feet of the One who can turn our doubt into bold declarations of faith.

 

Linking up with these communities: #LiveFreeThursday

Are We Smothering God’s Fire With Well-Meaning Activity?

I poked at the fire, frustrated that it wasn’t staying aflame. This girl was no scout. The temperatures outside had reached single digits, and our furnace was having a hard time keeping up.

After spending an hour trying different techniques, adding wood, scraps of paper, and using more fire starters than any person should, the flame blazed hot enough for the wood stove’s fan to cut on, circulating the heat throughout the house. My mouth spread into a victorious smile.

The problem was, I didn’t know what I’d done right.

Later, after my husband returned from a business trip, he explained the basics of fire building to this city girl. I listened intently, determined not to have the predicament repeat itself.

Even my son, the cub scout, knew the basics of fire 101. I guess I should have asked him, right?

As any seasoned camper should know, fires need three basic components: heat, fuel, and oxygen.

It turns out, I had given my fire plenty of heat and fuel, but I’d neglected oxygen almost altogether. Instead of giving my flame room to breath by spreading the wood in a triangular shape, I’d smothered it.

Fires need room to breathe. And much like the flame I’d suffocated with its own fuel, I often adapt the same pattern in my spiritual life.

Will you continue reading with me today? I’m sharing what I learned about keeping God’s flame alive over at Purposeful Faith. Click here to read the rest of my post.

 

Linking up with these communities: Grace & Truth

When We Let Others Define Who We Are

I dug my well deep.

Every day I dropped my bucket down into the depths and filled it with words of affirmation. Sometimes it was a compliment from a friend. Other times it was a note or a comment I’d received from a fellow writer.

One Tuesday morning my youngest boy gave me a huge bear hug and wrapped his entire body around me tight. I was weary but felt like that embrace would get me through the morning and give me fuel for the day.

The love of my family and community was my soul food.

Eventually I dropped my bucket down and there was nothing there. Like a wanderer in the middle of a desert, I looked around for a drink but here was none. I felt lost and depleted, like I’d lost my bearings somehow.

Thoughts of defeat and angst filled my head. Somewhere in the eyes of my heart, I knew the words weren’t from my Creator, but I continued to listen to them.

No one appreciates you. Why do you bother?

Instead of fighting the enemy of my soul, I laid down and wallowed in the lies that filled my head. I spent the night tossing and turning, but in the morning I remembered the “one word” God had given me for 2016.

“Awake.”

Being awake isn’t simply a state of our physical being. It requires intentionality and effort. It means taking conscious steps toward the Truth and training our minds to recognize what is false.

It takes no energy to conform to what Paul refers to as “the pattern of this world.” All we have to do is get out of bed and allow the media, gossip and talk around us to shape us into whatever the current trend decides we are.

But Paul tells us not to conform, but be transformed. And that takes work. It takes a conscious choice on our part. How do we do this? By transforming our mind.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2 NIV

If we allow others to define us, our security will change like the rising tide. But God’s definition of who we are never changes, if we are in Him.

He says we are chosen. (Ephesians 1:4)

He says we are beloved. (Colossians 3:12)

He tells us as far as the east is from the west, so have our transgressions been removed from us. (Psalm 103:12)

The next time you throw that bucket into the well of life, remember there is only one source of Living Water. And his spring never runs dry.

This world and the people who inhabit it do not determine who you are. The one who hung on a tree and paid a price more precious than pure gold does.

Never forget who claimed you as his. Keep your eyes fixed on him, and remember your identity comes from Him alone.

Don’t Give Up

A few days ago, I took a trip back to middle school. Not in the literal sense, but in my head. I was surrounded by sticky floors, kids racing around on bright wheels, and 80’s music.

We were at the neighborhood skating rink.

It was my oldest son’s first time on skates and for thirty minutes he spent as much time on the floor as he did on his feet. Within an hour, he was ready to leave.

“It’s hard, Mama,” he complained, giving me his best tone of defeat and stepping off the big rink.

I knew it was. I could see he was trying. But I also knew if he kept going and allowed his body to adapt to feet on wheels, he would love it.

“I know it’s hard, buddy. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to give up.”

He skated slowly back over to the small rink, struggled over the lip of outer edge, and made another lap. Then another, and another.

When an hour passed and it was time to leave, he was hot and sweaty, but he didn’t want to go.

“Can we come back again next week, Mama?”

I smiled and told him we’d be back soon.

In the short time it took this local business to blast some of my favorite flashback tunes, my son went from frustrated and defeated to proud and ready for more. He went from complaining to celebrating. And all it took was a little push.

You can do this. Keep going. Don’t give up.

The situation reminded me of a conversation I had with God as I walked our dogs on a cold, star-filled night. I told him I was tired. There were areas in my life where I was ready to quit, and I needed wisdom and guidance.

Sometimes, when I pray these prayers, I believe somehow God is going to make everything better and the situation will miraculously change. Occasionally, it does. But often, God’s response is the same as mine was to my son.

You can do this. Keep going. Don’t give up.

I once heard someone say there is nothing in life worth having that doesn’t require a fight. A struggle of some sort. An inner decision where we say no matter what, we’re going to keep at it.

The apostle Paul tells us,

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

1 Timothy 6:12 NIV

Deep down, I know I have to keep fighting. I look at everything in life I hold most dear: faith, marriage, kids, ministry, writing and relationships. None of them are easy. There are seasons of joy, doubt, and suffering.

But when those moments of clarity come, I see how God uses each one to refine, to grow us, and mature us into beautiful reflections of his glory. Even when I don’t feel his presence, he carries me through those moments of weakness.

The struggle isn’t a signal to stop, but a sign keep going.

Can I come alongside you and tell you a few things today?

God sees your work. He sees your effort and each step you take toward him.

He knows your struggle. He is there with you and will help you, just like I helped my son in those moments when his feet faltered.

He’s a good father. He isn’t up there, looking down his nose or pointing his finger at you. He longs for you to come to him with your struggles, your worries and disappointments.

His Spirit will help you. Keep going. Don’t give up.

 

*Linking up with these communities: #RaRaLinkup, #IntentionalTuesday, #TellHisStory