One Truth to Hold Onto When You Crave Recognition


Can I make a little confession? I’m a gold star craver. I love affirmation for a job well done, and when I became a parent this need multiplied. I constantly worry that I’m messing up my kids or they’re going to need therapy when they grow up.

You can relate, right?

So this week we celebrated Valentine’s Day and after an incident at home I had no time to do anything. I’ll admit, most years we don’t do much for Valentine’s anyway. To me it serves as just another reason to give the kids sugar.

Trust me, my kids don’t need more sugar.

But it had been a rough week and I was feeling a little guilty about not getting the kids anything.

Enter…my husband. He comes home from work with two little heart shaped boxes of chocolate and puts them on my dresser. Each one has a cute, fun message on the front. Each one perfect for our boys’ unique personalities.

“You’ll always be their first Valentine,” he said.

I could have cried. He saw my need even though I didn’t express it.

The next morning when I came to kitchen table and gave each son his gift, my oldest jumped up and gave me a hug. And hugs from this eight-year-old are getting fewer and farther between.

“I love you,” he said.

I looked at my hubs, knowing this moment was because of him. But he didn’t need credit or recognition from the boys. Seeing their reaction was enough.

That’s what Christ’s love is like, isn’t it? We’re his ambassadors here on earth, but often we’re so worried about getting the pat on the back or gold star that we forget who deserves the glory.


I’m not saying we should stop encouraging each other. Scripture says to build each other up in Christ Jesus.

But let’s not forget our gifts come from him. And at the end of the day if his love shines through us and points others to their Creator, we’ve done well.

He sees the heart we pour into our families. He sees each tear we cry for their sake.

He’s been where we are, completely human in every way.

And you know what? People didn’t recognize him either.

He wasn’t here to bring himself glory, but to do the will of the One who sent him. To give us glimpses of the Father here on earth.

Come to him today. Tell him your need. I can promise he already knows, but when we are honest we just might get that gold star we crave.

He can fill us up with the love he feels for us each day, whispering, “I know you, my child. And I am pleased with my creation.”


Linking up here: #ChasingCommunity

8 thoughts on “One Truth to Hold Onto When You Crave Recognition

  1. Abby, what a sweet hubby you have. Isn’t it just like moms to feel if we don’t do everything (even the stuff we don’t know to do yet!) we’re going to ruin our kids? I come from a family of dysfunction, so I don’t know what “normal,” looks like. I’m always feeling inadequate, but ya know, I don’t think our kids see what we think we “should” be doing. They see and feel the love we offer, and that’s more than enough for them. (Well, and plus, God’s good at filling our gaps. 🙂 ) Wish we could see ourselves through our kids eyes and through God’s eyes. We’d realize every day is a gold-star day. 🙂 — Beautiful message here, Abby, thank you for sharing with #ChasingCommunity today! xoxo


  2. What an amazing team, and I love how your husband recognized that you needed that little boost as much as the boys did. And yes, as a boy mom, I know the importance of being their first – and only – Valentine for at least 20ish years. 😉


  3. Oh my goodness, yes. A thousand times yes! I absolutely love your husband’s gesture, and how it so perfectly paints a picture of how we should serve others. Thank you for sharing this story with us, Abby!


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