A Promise for the Days When God Doesn’t Seem Real

when God doesn't seem real

I waited weeks for the right moment to let the boys feel baby Elise move. But every time she was up, they weren’t. Or they were outside playing, at school or some other activity.

Then on a Tuesday night, my oldest sat on the couch playing his video game and I laid beside him, propping my feet up on the ottoman. Baby girl apparently didn’t like my position because she started kicking like crazy.

Hurriedly, I took my son’s hand and placed it on my tummy and as usual, she stopped. But I held it there. Then, she kicked again.

The look of excitement on my son’s face was worth all the weeks of waiting.

“Did she kick your hand?” I asked.

“Actually, she kicked my finger! This one right here,” he said, pointing to his index finger.

He sat down next to me with a satisfied look. I knew what this experience meant, but my husband’s question solidified it for me.

“Is she real now?” he asked as he stood in the doorway, looking at our eight-year-old.

Big brother nodded and my shoulders relaxed. A couple of days ago, my hubby had told me about a conversation he had with the boys while I was out on a girls’ night. Their excitement over welcoming a sister into the family had worn off, and he wanted to know if they had any questions.

“I’m just not sure if she’s real,” our firstborn said in all honesty.

When Chris told me about it, my heart sank. But I also understood. The wait was long for me, so I couldn’t imagine how lengthy it must seem for a kid his age. All this talk about a person he couldn’t see or touch.

We’d taken both boys to the ultrasound where we found out the gender, but to them it was probably like a movie on a screen. They needed tangible evidence. Something they could feel and put their hands on.

when God doesn't seem real

Feeling her move was the affirmation my inquisitive one needed. And after he stepped away, I looked at his little face I thanked God for that moment.

I thought about days past when, like baby sister, He didn’t seem real. One moment I’d be worshipping and watching Him move, and the next I wasn’t sure where He was.

My human response was to blame Him, but I know He was still there, steady and constantly as always.

My flesh wanted tangible signs, but God simply wanted me to trust Him.

I forgot how even when He walked this earth performing signs and miracles, healing the sick and ministering, there were still those who didn’t believe.

Why is it that we think we have to be on a spiritual high or mountaintop of worship to experience God? The confirmation of his presence his all around us, but we become too distracted to notice.

Instead of burying my face in his Word, I spend countless hours scrolling through Facebook. Instead of having a conversation face to face with another living, breathing image of our Creator, I sit at home watching reruns on Netflix.

If I’m missing God, it isn’t because He’s gone anywhere.

He’s there in the sunrise and in a message from a friend that comes at just the right time. He’s there in the invitation to lunch that comes when you feel like you’re alone.

The more time I spend with Him, getting to know Him and his infinite ways, the more I see Him all around me. And to my friend sitting there on the other side of the screen, I promise you this. If you seek Him, you will find Him.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:12-13 ESV

If we want to see Him, all we have to do is look at the miracles taking place in our everyday. Like my son pressing his hand on my fluttering belly, He’s there.

 

Linking up with these communities: #ThoughtProvokingThursday, #LiveFreeThursday

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12 thoughts on “A Promise for the Days When God Doesn’t Seem Real

  1. I love this example Abby. I was just talking with a friend this morning about how Mother Teresa only felt God’s presence once in all her years of ministry. We have to remember the times we see Him move and lean hard into them.

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  2. This is so beautiful! Isn’t it crazy that we fully experience God one moment and struggle to trust that He is still there the next? If only I could find the stead-fastedness to stay the course of trust and faith during all circumstances. Thank you for sharing. I am so happy baby sister is real now!

    visiting from #thoughtprovokingthursdays

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  3. This is beautiful… He is working even when we think we can’t see Him moving but the evidence is all around. In my prayer time this morning I had the spirit impress upon me that God is real and powerful… You post = divine confirmation. ♥ Blessings on the new babe!

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  4. This brought sweet tears to my eyes, Abby. What a perfect picture of God’s truth. We miss Him so often, but it’s because He seems so far away. Yet He’s not. He’s right here with us–all the time. Praying for God’s blessing on your sweet family!

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  5. Oh Abby. This is just such a beautiful story. Some of your best writing ever. Yes, He is real, all around us. May He open our eyes. Like Jacob (?) said, “God is in this place. I just didn’t see it.” Something like that. 🙂 I love the name Elise.

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  6. So Powerful! So Well Written! So Much Truth! A reflection of when I do not feel God ~~ it’s not His doing…it’s mine. Thank you for creating awareness.

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