Why You Shouldn’t Withhold Your Encouragement

Don't Withhold Your Words of Encouragement

I’m a sucker for a good Hallmark card. Don’t make fun. This Mother’s Day with the pregnancy hormones raging, I may have gotten a little teary-eyed as I was reading mine.

It said exactly what I needed to hear. Greeting cards have a way of doing that, don’t they?

You pour your heart and soul into this family

And it shows.

It had been a rough week. As we received notes home from our son’s teacher about his recent difficulties staying focused, I questioned the causes for his change in behavior. I questioned my abilities as a mom and whether or not we’d be able to handle a third child.

I knew as the last weeks of school wound down it wasn’t uncommon for kids to lose focus, but the feelings of defeat still followed me. Especially after the second note in one week. It didn’t appear as though our conversation had helped.

Sometimes when the stresses of life pile up, we need a reminder. And I thank God that Mother’s Day greeting cards aren’t the only time my husband gives me one.

He tells me he sees the love I pour into our family. He lets me know my labor is not in vain. But as I remembered the lines his card, I wondered.

How often do we let those words of encouragement and affirmation go unsaid? Are holidays and cards the only time we say the things that matter, or do we tell the people we love how much we care?

I recently watched a video that had gone viral on Facebook. It was about regret, and talked about how people nearing the end of their lives here on earth didn’t usually regret the things they did.

They regretted what they didn’t do.

why you shouldn't withhold your encouagement

The video talked about pursuing our dreams, very carpe diem in its message. I was moved and inspired.

But the type of regret the video didn’t talk about was things left unsaid. Words of love left unspoken. Words that say, “You matter, you inspire, and you’ve made a difference in my life.”

Not just in a greeting card, but spoken out loud.

I thought about how often God has blessed me with people who moved and inspired me, but I didn’t tell them. I thought about the people in my life who have passed, and wondered if they knew what they meant to me.

They say actions speak louder than words and I believe most of the time this is true, but you know what? Our words matter. They can breathe life into a soul who needs it and turn thoughts into movement.

But we have to speak them. Instead of simply thinking good thoughts about someone, we have to say them out loud.

Words of encouragement never spoken are like thirsty seed. They have the potential to give life, but they don’t.

Tell someone she matters today. Tell her you see her and notice the love she pours into her work, her family and those around her.

You may never know how much she needs it. You may never know the life you bring with your words.


Linking up with these communities: #RaRaLinkup, #IntentionalTuesday

18 thoughts on “Why You Shouldn’t Withhold Your Encouragement

  1. Oh Abby, I agree wholeheartedly! I was just thinking yesterday about the friends I’ve had over the years who have truly listened to me. That is a huge gift, and I should tell them so! I hope this week is a better one for you … and I trust that some day, you will be able to look back at two notes in one week and smile when you see what a fine young man your son has become. 🙂 (And yes, I am speaking from a bit of personal experience there!)


    • Thank you for your encouragement, Lois. It’s always a blessing for me to hear from other moms who have grown kids and survived! 😉 Have a wonderful Tuesday.


  2. Oh girl, you soooo matter to me today! Do you know HOW.MANY.TIMES I’ve had a conversation “to” someone or think something encouraging about them, but never speak the words? Such good encouragement, Abby. Such good encouragement. You keep reading those Hallmark cards. It’s A-okay.


  3. I love this, Abby. Such a necessary reminder. And what a sweet card from your hubby. I love to send and receive cards/notes. 🙂 I’m writing one right now… “You matter so much, Abby! Thank you so much for taking the time to send us encouraging posts!” Blessings and hugs to you!


  4. Such a great reminder about the power of encouragement and the spoken word. Thank You, Abby. I enjoyed this! Now, who can I go encourage… ? 🙂


  5. Beautiful, Abby. A great reminder to be obedient to those Holy Spirit nudges to reach out to others that we can so often run passed in the busyness of life. I appreciate you, friend and I’m so grateful for your heart to encourage us. xo


  6. So beautiful. I feel like I’m in the same boat – hormones, third child on the way, notes home from teachers. I needed this encouragement today. Thanks so so much. Have a blessed week, Abby.


  7. Thanks so much for this reminder and encouragement. I know how encouraged I’ve also been sometimes by others’ words. I want to give that same gift. Our words DO matter! 🙂


  8. I find it natural to say this to my little family but that I need to be intentionally encouraging to others. It really is huge! My daughter has one telephone message from her dad where he called her cell a week before he unexpectedly passed away…he was just calling to tell her he loved her and to encourage her and to tell her to have a great day. ❤ It's been a treasure for all of us..played it at her graduation since he wasn't there to speak over her. ❤ ❤ ❤


  9. Abby,
    Thirsty seed…hmmm….how many times do I withhold encouraging thoughts and words that I could be pouring out on people. Especially when someone has “done me wrong”, I “retaliate” by withholding words that could give life. I’m in that spot today and I needed this wake up call!! Blessings to you and congrats on your pregnancy…will be praying!!
    Bev xx


  10. Encouragement can bright someones day and boost confidence. I always try to encourage people, it wasn’t until several years ago working as a security officer at a community college and talking to the students and I would tell them they will do fine on the test. Most would come back and tell me they did good on the test. One one day, during summer saw me and said thanks for all the encouragement you gave me through out the semester, it boosted me up and I did well on my test, he goes on to say God blessed you with the gift of encouragement I felt like you needed to know that. Since then I noticed how much more I have tried to encourage others even when I felt discouraged.


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