When You Need Affirmation

life unstuck intro

“There are things he wants to tell me.”

My voice was soft, almost a whisper to my roommates after a frightening knock and complaint from the hotel security guard. We spoke in hushed tones, sharing the truths God revealed to us over a weekend blogging conference in the heart of downtown Greenville, SC.

I looked around at these women I’d grown to love even more in a few short days. As we told stories and truths revealed, I was amazed how God gave each of us the exact message we needed our current season of life.

“There are things he want to tell me, but I have to slow down to listen.”

I looked up at my roommates. They nodded and murmured affirmation. Yes, finding those moments would have to be an intentional act, not an accident.

Oh, I spent time with God. In the spaces between preschool and playtime, during the occasional nap and after the drop off at the bus stop. Whenever I could, I snuck in moments. I read the Word. I prayed while making sandwiches. But I wanted more.

I longed to kneel at the feet of his throne and feel peace. Peace beyond a good night’s sleep or the perfect strength coffee.

And God wanted more from me. Not as a righteous requirement or a legal demand, but because he loved me.

He loves me- then, now and for the vast space of eternity spreading out before me.

In my limitless search for validation in writing, relationships and service, God is validating me this very moment. As I sit here typing these words, hoping they will reach some weary soul who is yearning for approval, God is saying, “This is my daughter.”

When I sit with him in the quiet, my heart knows. Even though my mind may wander and my body struggle against the stillness, it’s on those seconds of unrushed worship that I experience the peace I long for.

So why do I fight it? Why do we negate the one relationship that makes us whole? It’s difficult for us to comprehend the invisible, isn’t it?

And that which we can’t understand we often dismiss. But our unseen God can’t be contained or explained away.

when you long for affirmation

Our world applauds the material, but eternal validation comes from the invisible.

When we get stuck in the chase for worldly affirmation, we miss the most fulfilling affirmation of all. It comes from above and within.

The more time I spend with Him, the more he fills me with declarations of his love. It can’t be boiled down to a simple pat on the back or a “well done,” but he’s whispering it to us day after day, when we pause and take time to listen.

Will you sit a while and hear his voice? He’s speaking to you. He’s waiting to tell you deep and wonderful things you don’t know or comprehend.

He’s waiting to affirm you as his daughter.


*This post is part of the #Write31Days challenge. You can find all posts for this series here.

*Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Holley Gerth


20 thoughts on “When You Need Affirmation

  1. I am a 68 year old woman of God. I spent most of my life seeking approval from all and anyone. I could never measure up. I wanted to be like Mary, oh look at Joanne how she can speak better than I ever could, and look at… and on and on it went. My relationships were based on striving to win them over, to have them love me, they would fail me and would try harder. God has sent me free. I spend time with Him. He does speak to me. Has it been an easy road, no it has been hard? It has taken me out of comfort zone and a zone that was so familar. It seemed wrong somehow to think God loves me with that much love, more than I can comprehend. I am a work in progress and I am victorious! Thank you for reminding of who I am in Christ. He is the very best decision anyone could ever make. He is the one and only. He is the great I am. He is the only one who knows more about myself than myself or anyone, and yet loves me more than myself and anyone. Thank you God for Abby and the gift You have given her for words/writing. May God contuinue to use her in this way. Change lives with her words and writings that You have given her to write. They are your words Lord and we give You praise.

    Blessings Abby.


    • Betty, I am always blessed by your comments. Thank you for your prayer over me and encouragement to keep writing for him. Yes, he is the one and only and I pray I remember that truth each day when I’m tempted to look to others for my worth. God bless you, friend.


  2. What you say here is so true, Abby. Just recently, I desperately wanted specific feedback from a specific person. When it didn’t come, my feelings were hurt and I struggled with how to bring it up in conversation. Then one morning, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart: “Say nothing. Don’t even bring it up.” My immediate response was, “Huh?” followed by total peace. It as as if God was gently reminding me that I didn’t need to solicit affirmation or approval from this particular person because He truly is all I need. It’s an ongoing battle, especially for someone like me who thrives on words of affirmation. But it’s so freeing when I’m able to rest in his love and acceptance of me. Thanks for a wonderful post!


    • Lois, what a powerful story. Thank you for sharing. I love how God gave you peace even when you didn’t get the affirmation you desired. How great is he to give us all we need, even when it doesn’t look the way we think it should. Thanks so much for visiting today.


  3. This was beautiful post. It is so true. I love your quote.. that eternal affirmation comes from the invisible. It’s so funny that we so often seek affirmation in so many other places but I love that in Christ I am more then affirmed.. I was worth dying for. Great post!


  4. Thank you, Abby, for reminding me that God is affirming me at this very moment that I am His daughter, and that’s all the affirmation I need. I need this reminder daily as it’s so easy for me to slide back into that “needing affirmation from others” mode. I’m so grateful that God is so very patient with me. I don’t comment on every post, but I want you to know this series is so encouraging. Blessings and hugs!


    • Trudy, what a gift it has been to get to know you more through this series. Yes, God is so patient, all the time. He never ceases to amaze me. I pray he fills you with his love today, friend.


  5. Love this so much, friend. Yes, He IS waiting to affirm us as His daughters…and I think what you said about Him filling us with declarations of His love is so true and something we need again and again. As I read this, I thought about how sometimes insecurity still sneaks up on me and the answer to it is always time with the Lord, sitting in His presence and remembering who I am because of Him. Thanks for this…so happy I got to be one of those roommates! 🙂


    • Angela, I loved rooming with you and Kelly at the conference and smile overtime I think about our conversations. And yes, that insecurity sneaks up on me all to often but I’m slowly learning his truth is always the answer. Praise God for that. xoxo


  6. I know God is speaking to me because everywhere I look I hear or read, “Take time to be still. Soak in His love. Listen for His voice.” I love your graphic today. True Affirmation comes from the One who is invisible.


  7. LOVE! It sounds like you and I are in similar seasons. I am way beyond worrying about young kids but the common thread is how our hearts our yearning to hear our special message from God. What words does He have just for us and will we stop long enough to hear and let them infuse our very soul??? God is working mightily on and in me and it is through words from Allume, your words today, my son speaking into me and so many other sources. Now I need to pause and let Him do the work that He has already started. Good stuff my friend!


    • Yes, he does have a word for each of us, singular and unique. How awesome is that? It was so wonderful to meet you at Allume, Mary. Sending hugs your way.


  8. “Peace beyond a good night’s sleep or the perfect strength coffee….It’s difficult for us to comprehend the invisible, isn’t it? And that which we can’t understand we often dismiss. But our unseen God can’t be contained or explained away.” <– I love this. So very true. Getting curious about Allume. Glad you had such a wonderful time. ❤


  9. Beautiful, Abby. Taking time with Him is a choice, and a most profitable one, and yet some days it feels like the hardest one to make. It’s sad and stupid, really. He has so much to say if we’ll just turn off the noise and listen. Thanks for the reminder today! xo


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