Chasing Someone Else’s Dream

life unstuck intro

Two nights ago, my oldest son turned our kitchen into a dance floor. With moves I’d never seen or knew he had, he moved around our little rancher with joy.

It turns out, he’d been learning dances like the Sid Shuffle and the Cha Cha at school during what his teacher calls, “brain breaks.” My husband and I could not contain our laughter and smiles as we asked each other, “Where did he get this?”

My hubby and I are not known for our dance moves. Chris affectionately refers to my dancing persona as Elaine from Seinfeld. And if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, Google it to give yourself a good laugh.

Turns out, coordination is not one of the gifts God gave me. Marching in the school band and playing instruments is more in my wheelhouse, although I happily move around the floor with my son and join the fun.

What struck me as I watched my son strut around our kitchen is this: he was being himself, complete and unwavering. And if he can carry that carefree abandon with him for the rest of his life, I will be a content Mama.

As a girl, I remember watching a live production of the Nutcracker. Dancers glided across the stage with perfect grace and poise and my soul drank it in like parched soil in need of water.

And as much as I loved every minute of the performance, what filled me most was a sense of longing. A sense that these performers had something deep within them that I lacked.

What I didn’t realize at the time was I didn’t lack anything. I was simply chasing after the wrong dream.


God apportions each one of us with gifts and grace to reflect his glory. When we chase someone else’s gift, our souls darken a light created to shine.

When I pursue someone else’s gift or talent, I become stuck because I can’t see I already have. We are each unique creations made to tell a story of God’s love, but when we compare and are jealous, we turn his story into a competition.

Do you know what our gifts are supposed to create? Unity. Not envy or clamoring for what someone else has, but a complete, full and functioning church working together to spread his love to the ends of the earth.

From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Ephesians 4:16 NIV

God, help us. Helps us to see the grace and good gifts you’ve given to each one of us according to your plan and the story began weaving before the foundation of the earth.

May we work together instead of against each other. May we be a reflection of your glory and not a stumbling stone for others.


Congratulations Patsy! You are the winner of one copy of The Key to Everything by Matt Keller. Thank you for participating.


*This post is part of the #Write31Days challenge. You can find all posts for this series here.

*Linking up these communities: Grace & Truth, #LiveFreeThursday

20 thoughts on “Chasing Someone Else’s Dream

  1. Oh yes, I know that feeling well! I love the picture of your son dancing:) This is a wonderful reminder not just for ourselves, but for our children too. So often I want him to achieve like someone else. He is amazingly unique. Thank you Lord! And thank you for the reminder today, Abby.


    • Amen, Kristine. Such an important message for our children. I pray he pursues the gifts God has given HIM, and not someone else’s. Thanks for your encouragement today.


  2. What a great message this is. There are many needs in the Body of Christ, and much to be done, but not all of it needs to be done by me! I love your emphasis that God has gifted each of us uniquely.


    • Thank you for your encouragement today, Michele! This is a message I’ve been slow to learn, but God finally God a hold of me and showed me how much happier I am when I pursue the gifts I have rather than someone’s else’s.:-) Have a great weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, yes, yes! You’d think with all this chasing other people’s dreams, I’d be ready for a 5k Abby. So true, and thankful God will often remove desires for things He hasn’t gifted us for (like piano for one 😉 lol!). Love how you share about your son and his dance moves. I know what you mean, our daughter is a nurse and I go, what? Although I love to nurture, and hope I’m compassionate, nursing was never on my radar. Blessings to you my friend!


  4. Abby, this is the best post I’ve read this morning thus far! Thank you so much for sharing this, sweet Sister! Hope you’ll stop by and link-up with me today! Peace and many blessings to you, Love! 🙂


  5. Beautiful, Abby. I once had a mentor tell me, “just because a McDonalds opens on one corner, it doesn’t keep them from opening another a few streets over. And they’ll both be full and profitable.” Ha! Maybe you need the rest of the story, but…Gods gifts are abundant and we don’t have to compete for someone else’s store when ours is full to the hilt. Love you, friend. Your words are wise and good. Now, go bust a move. 😉


    • Yes, I need the rest of this story! 😉 I’m hoping one day we will get a chance to chat face to face. Until then, I’m glad to be on this writing journey with you. Love you back. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A message I continually need to take to heart. Learning to follow only the dreams God places on our own hearts helps to protect us from the burn out and exhaustion that come from chasing someone else’s. Knowing what our dreams are removes any guilt we might feel about taking our own path. Thank you for this great reminder today!


    • Liz, this is a message I need to be reminded of often, too. God is so faithful and patient with us, isn’t he? And yes, that is so true about the removal of guilt. Great insight. Thank you for visiting!


  7. I love the picture of your son dancing with abandon. And you, too, Abby. 🙂 This post really hits home, especially this line – “When we chase someone else’s gift, our souls darken a light created to shine.” Too often I long to have someone else’s gift instead of focusing on being the me God created me to be. But I feel like I’m in a bind sometimes not knowing what my gifts really are or even more often out of insecurity denying I have any. I long to step out and dance with abandon in believing I am a beloved child of God and He has a purpose for me. Thank you, Abby, for being one of God’s gifts to me today. I enjoy these Living Unstuck posts so much. Blessings and hugs!


    • Trudy, encouragement is what I’ve already seen is one of your gifts and I know there are others! Trust me, not everyone has the gift of encouragement.
      😉 I’m praying God opens your eyes to the gifts he’s blessed you with. Hugs back at you, friend.


  8. You write beautifully of truths I can relate too. I too cannot dance- a friend once said I dance like a tree trunk! I would have loved to dance but have to accept it is not one of my gifts!!!! But I have many gifts that God gave me that I can use to unify the body of Christ. Looking forward to read the book I won! So exciting! Thank you ! Patsy


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