“I went to the conference thinking there was a big pie and I had to get a piece. Then I realized God just makes a bigger pie.”
The author’s words struck me with clarity and I realized I had the same misconception about an invisible pie. When did I start making his work about me?
I felt convicted and relieved at the same time. How liberating to know my God was not limited by my own perception.
There is freedom in knowing I serve One who is not merely counting book contracts and numbers in attendance, but has a plan far higher than I can comprehend. Instead of thinking about myself, I want his plans to be carried out in all their fullness.
When we embrace God’s plans instead of our own, He is able to use us in ways we never dreamed possible.
I realized in the previous months, my dream had become about me. And when my dreams become about my needs, envy consumes my heart. I compare what others have to what I am lacking. Insecurities run high, and I doubt my ability to fulfill what God has for me.
I forget that it’s through my weakness that He makes me strong. I forget his power working in me is what will take me to new places. I become an insecure girl with nothing to give, and am unable to love people the way he desires.
Just one succinct statement about God making a bigger pie made me realize I had it all wrong. I thought about what it truly means to love and read one of the most frequently quoted chapters in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13.
How often had I read this chapter and simply skimmed over the words, because I knew them so well? But the person who reads the words and does not do what they say cannot claim to love God.
This is what love does not look like:
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
How often have I done these very things? How often do I claim to love Jesus, but harbor envy and grudges in my heart?
I don’t want to be a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal who is merely chasing after some invisible pie in the sky. I want to be a woman who reflects Jesus with my heart, soul and mind.
Instead of being one person in a crowd of hundreds trying to fulfill my own dream, my desire is to be part of a mosaic of people, each working to do more together than we could ever do on our own.
So today, instead of comparing myself to you, I join hands with you. I put my own selfish ambition aside because we are far better together than we are apart.
God’s kingdom is too important for me keep eyes focused only on my work.
His vision is far more reaching.
It is far more glorious.