When You Feel Like No One Understands You


When I was growing up, the Cheers theme song could have been the theme song for my life. I wanted to go where everyone knew my name. Where our troubles were all the same.

For a long time, I felt like no one knew who I was or understood anything about me. I was not the popular kid.

Often, these same insecure feelings can transition into our adult lives.ย When they’re not dealt with and brought before the Creator, they eat at us from the inside, spewing out into snide remarks, anxious behavior, and endless striving for an unattainable acceptance from everyone.

Insecurity comes from the most unexpected places. The woman with the cute hair at church. The mom behind you in the carpool line. Our parents. Our friends on Facebook that we haven’t actually seen in fifteen years.

I spent a large period of my life thinking acceptance from others could fill me. If someone saw me for who I was and truly got me, loved me, and accepted me, I would be content.

I failed to realize that the person I was searching for was there the whole time. He created me and searched me and knit me in my mothers womb. He saw every sin, every fault and insecurity and still chose to die a brutal death for me.

Our endless attempts to be seen will never fill us, because the One who truly sees us lives within us.

When we choose to follow Him, he makes us his own. When we proclaim with our mouths that He is Lord, he places his unbreakable seal on us.

He placed a desire within us that only He can satisfy. And if we’re trying to meet that need to be seen and recognized with anything or anyone but Him,ย and Him alone,ย we will run in circles for the rest of our lives.

Friend, if you’re on an endless race to please everyone in your life and running on empty, can I offer something as someone who’s been there? Slow down and rest. Soak in the presence of the One who can truly fill our cups. The only One who truly knows us.

He has called you by name.

He is waiting with open arms for us to invite Him in. And I can promise you, when you kneel at the feet of Jesus, you will find all that you need.


“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” Psalm 139:1

13 thoughts on “When You Feel Like No One Understands You

  1. Well said! There is so much to be said for a heart that is willing to be transparent and real with the Lord and others. It gives us freedom to know that we are not expected to run the race towards perfection, just towards God. I think we’d be surprised to find that that woman at church and that mom in the carpool line has really crummy days too and is just longing for someone to have them right alongside her! ๐Ÿ˜Š


    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts today. I agree that if we are more transparent with each other, we can have real authentic relationships that mean something and last for a lifetime. Have a great weekend.


  2. Yes, Abby, Yes! I have struggled with this as still do. It’s so easy to forget Whose we are. So thankful to be in this place with you being drawn back to our only Source of life and identity. Love you and your words so much! xoxo


    • Meredith, I was overwhelmed with God’s goodness this weekend. I love you too and wish we lived closer. Thank you for being such a dear friend.


    • I’m so glad it resonated with you, Sabra. It’s a message I need to hear often but I feel like God really drove it home this weekend. Thanks so much for your encouragement. You are so dear.


  3. Yes! I too want to get my focus off of pleasing others or feeling accepted and get it set on resting in my shepherd’s care and serving Him as He calls me too. Was so great to see you at She Speaks. ๐Ÿ™‚


    • Yes, Betsy! Rest in the Shepherd’s care. Amen. I was so blessed to meet you this weekend. I look forward to staying in contact with all the wonderful women I came into contact with at She Speaks.


  4. I am wrestling with this right now. I’m about halfway through Beth Moore’s book So Long, Insecurity, and I’m realizing that while I have attempted to deal with my self-esteem issues in the past, I’ve never done so by fully and totally turning to God. I’ve always held back a little bit in order to keep a smidge of my people-pleaser identity. It is time for me to let that go.


    • Kate, I’m so glad you’ve come to this realization. That is huge and I, too, have struggled with self esteem for much of my life. God is faithful and will fill all of our needs. I appreciate you so much.


  5. Abby- I wish I had gotten a chance to hang out with you this weekend, like, really hang out with you. And after reading this post, now I REALLY wish we had chatted more than hi-nice-to-meet-you-yeah-this-is-great-see-you-later-bye. Because you and I have lots in common. I have forever been the girl who feels like I fit just outside the lines. I don’t think I’m unliked…it’s just that I have always felt like I’m not quite good enough to be part of “that crowd”. And wow- it feels way to weird to write that out loud, but I did, so there. Anyhow- just wanting you to know you are SO not alone in that. And praise God, I feel like the tide is changing for me in this, which is undoubtedly a God thing. So glad you wrote this. It totally made me love you.


    • Oh, Amy! You make my heart smile so much. Thank you and I wish we had gotten to talk more too. I’m going to try to make it to Allume this year, God willing, so if I do we can connect again there! God is changing my heart too and it is so exciting! Much love to you and I’m sending you big hugs right now. ๐Ÿ™‚


  6. Amen! I was that girl and what rugged terrain there is when we don’t know who we are. I thank God that he can bring a calm to our internal storm. Loved this –> “Our endless attempts to be seen will never fill us, because the One who truly sees us lives within us.”
    Good post, Abby. ๐Ÿ™‚


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