Mom, Give Yourself a Little Grace Today

grace

There are so many things that surprised me about motherhood; things that no one tells you in the What to Expect books. I knew the statistics for c-sections, but I didn’t know I would actually grieve the loss of natural childbirth. I knew there would be sleepless nights, but I didn’t foresee the loneliness and isolation.

And the need for an endless supply of batteries. Did anyone else know that babies go through so many? I sure didn’t.

All of these surprises were eye-opening and caused me to adapt and grow, but there was one unexpected aspect that I’ve learned I simply have to say “no” to: the mom guilt.

I never realized that one person could feel guilty for so many different imperfections at the same time. The overcooked rice. The sheets that need to be changed. The unfolded laundry. The absence at bedtime.

There are times when my mom guilt exhausts me to the point where I feel like I can’t go another round. Until one day, in the midst of the dishes and the playdates and the carpools I had a startling revelation.

I can never expect to give grace to my kids if I don’t give it to myself.

grace 2

When my feelings of inadequacy consume me, I snap and yell and fuse is short. I cannot referee the fight in the next room because I’m too caught up in my own sense of self worth. And I’ve just about had enough.

So, to all you moms and women who mother, sitting there on the other side of the screen with the dark circles under your eyes and the kids pulling at your ankles: can I tell you something?

You are worth more than you know. You may not be a superhero, but in those tiny eyes that sparkle at just the right time and melt you the next, you are a hero. You are their world. And sometimes in this hard walk of parenting, we simply have to give ourselves a little grace.

Grace for this moment. And grace for all the moments after that. Because we were never intended to be perfect. And when we let our mighty Creator fill in the gaps and meet us in our weaknesses, the road becomes a lot more colorful and easier to walk.

 

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20 thoughts on “Mom, Give Yourself a Little Grace Today

  1. Thank you for saying this, Abby! It needs to be heard and absorbed by every. single. mother. I wrote about this a while back, when it hit me one day, too. I can’t expect to give grace to others if I can’t give it to myself. It’s hard, though, isn’t it? And I still fail, even though I want to do better and be better at this art and act of grace giving. Thank you for sharing your heart so beautifully and for linking up again this week. I ❤ your support. Love, Meredith

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    • I love your support too, Meredith! You are such an encouragement to me in more ways than you know. Yes, it’s hard to give ourselves grace but it’s something I’m working on. We can learn together. 🙂

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  2. Such a simple truth that is too easily overlooked. I want my son to know that mistakes and imperfections are OK because we are made perfect in Christ, not through ourselves. And yet how can I teach that lesson without truly accepting and modeling it myself? I definitely need to give myself grace more often, and this only increases my motivation to make it happen. Thanks for the inspiration, Abby!

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    • I’m glad you were inspired to give yourself grace, Katie! We all need it, especially in this journey of mothering. Thank you for your encouragement today.

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  3. This is wonderful! And this is something I wish I had known about motherhood – that I would judge every. single. action. That I’d doubt myself and every decision. At least at work, where I do the same things to myself, I get a performance review where my boss says “you are doing great”. Moms almost never get that. We need to step back from the constant self-criticism because it’s not doing us any good! Loved, loved, loved this!

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    • That is so wonderful to hear, Kirsten. And I so agree- when I was working in an office job, I got a performance review so I had a way of gauging how I was doing. Not so with mothering, and with my perfectionist nature that is often difficult for me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts today. You are a blessing!

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  4. Excellent post, Abby. And, on the battery issue, as a 51 year-old mom and a grandmother raising a 21 month-old, battery operated toys are HUGELY overrated. Get cars, blocks, puzzles, books, dolls, outdoor play equipment, etc. My daughter filled my grandson’s toybox with battery operated toys and I have slowly eliminated them because I think that they are imagination killers, add noise pollution, and add unnecessary expense.

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    • Thank you for stopping by, Holly, and I am learning that about the batteries. 😉 I mean, our parents survived on blocks and puzzles so why can’t our kids, right? Thanks for the tip.

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  5. I wish I would have known God those years I was raising my children. I say that but also know not to live with regrets and to be so grateful I follow Him now. But such sweet words, Abby, on how we need to give ourselves grace. Grace upon grace. Much love. xoxo

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    • I’m so grateful you found Him too, Beth. And yes, a life with grace is a life of so much more peace. Thanks for visiting today. You are a blessing. xoxo

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    • I’m so glad you found me, Holly! Congrats on being a mom-to-be. 🙂 Although it has its ups and downs, being a mom is a true blessing from God and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

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  6. I’m learning a similar thing about “Love” this year. My one word. I hope it happens soon. Until I can receive the love God has for me, I cannot offer others love in its purest an most beautiful form.
    Thank you for sharing your guilt-freeing revelation.
    Blessings,
    Janis

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    • Yes, that is so true, Janis. It’s something I’ve had to learn too and there are days when I need an extra reminder. Thanks for stopping here today. Have a lovely Sunday. 🙂

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  7. Wonderful reminder. I often wonder how my kids see me each day, smiling or frustrated? This is the key to smile more. Thank you, Abby!

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    • Great to hear from you, Kasey! I hope you and your kids are having a wonderful summer. I definitely needed this reminder when I took my kids to the pool today. 😉

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