When You Want to Be Right

As startled awake sometime after 3 AM, my anger was almost as palpable as the laminate floor. The air mattress which had been my bed for the past two nights was deflating rapidly since I’d failed to seal it properly. I clumsily got up and fastened the seal, inwardly counting the hours until I’d have to wake my oldest for school.

For two weeks our family had battled rounds of sickness and I wore my tiredness like an emblem across my eyes. I used it as an excuse for my poor attitude, my snippy tone, my lack of attention to details and anything else I could. Now my husband had strep throat and I was doing everything in my power to keep the rest of the family from getting it.

Since he had refused to go to the doctor when his first symptoms of illness emerged, I hung this fault over this head like a dark cloud, reminding him that I had told him at the first of the week to get checked for a possible infection.

The morning after my fight with the air mattress, my oldest son stopped me in my trek of self-righteous anger. Five-year-olds have a staggering way of doing that.

“Mama, do you have to take care of Dadda since he’s sick?”

Derek + Diane Photography, LLC (56)

I hung my head in shame. Yes, I should have been taking care of him. Instead, I was whining and using his mistake as a reason for my behavior. Was I really mad at my own husband for being sick?

When I promised to take care of him in sickness and in health, I don’t recall an addendum that said, “when you make wise choices.”

Sometimes our obsession with being right becomes the sin that blinds us to our wrongdoing.


We convince ourselves that because we are right, we don’t have to apologize. And then the pride sneaks in and blinds us to the truth. And the truth is that any act which isn’t done with love does not reflect Christ.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

Transforming my mind is a discipline. It does not come naturally, or simply because I want it to. I don’t know about you, but once I start complaining, I find it difficult to stop. I sink deeper and deeper into my self-induced pit of pity until I don’t know how to get out.

My five-year-old’s remark was the trigger for me to snap out of it. Because they’re watching. Each and every day, they are modeling my behavior, my tone, and my words. As he keeps his eyes on me, I’m filled with a huge sense of responsibility.

I want to raise a child who respects and loves his spouse as Christ loves the church. And to do so, I must start in my own home.




15 thoughts on “When You Want to Be Right

  1. Love the sticky statement and graphic, and you hooked me with the first paragraph. I have unfortunately slept on those awful mattresses, and was wondering why you had to do so!!!


  2. Oh, yes, they are watching, aren’t they? How often do mine remind me that…more than I’d like to admit. And how often am I not acting as I would like them to see and like them to mirror…more than I’d like to admit. There’s grace for that, Abby. Bless you for realizing they are watching and for wanting them to see different. That’s the mark of a good and godly mom. You are an inspiration. 😉 xoxo, Meredith


  3. Oh, I have been there. One of my biggest challenges is my need to be right all the time. Thank you for this reminder that even if/when I am indeed right, I’m still called to act lovingly and compassionately to those who disagreed with me.


    • It’s tough sometimes, isn’t it? Those little eyes and mouths who repeat EVERYTHING get me every time. They are like God’s little reminders to love like I want to be loved. 🙂


  4. Sweet Abby, I read your blog to Dad Miller every week and the emotions that it brings to surface on his face are so wonderful. He has cried, laughed and shows pride for a Daughter-in-law that He has grown to Love dearly. We both agree that God has truly given you remarkable gift and not just for enjoyment but for the Glory of our heavenly Father. Keep it up Honey the sky is the limit,
    God is going to take you places and allow you and your family to be of great importance to a multitude of lost and saved souls. Love You


    • You both are such an encouragement to me and your words mean so much. Having you all close is one of the main things that’s made the rough times of our move here easier to take. We love you.


    • Babes are so great of reminding us of the truth, aren’t they? 😉 Thanks for stopping by, Doris. It’s always a pleasure hearing from you.


  5. I love your addendum to go along with “in sickness and in health.” That’s ashamedly me with my husband at times. Thankful God uses our children to speak to us and to change the direction of our attitudes at the most appropriate times! I appreciate your transparency in sharing this. A good reminder for me today!


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