When You Feel Insulted

Last week my oldest started kindergarten.  It was a big transition for our family, so I dealt with it by keeping myself busy for the entire day, which wasn’t hard to do since we were leaving for a five hundred mile trip to my brother-in-law’s wedding the next day.  It was a rainy, dreary day so I drove to the bus stop with my youngest in tow to drop him off and pick him up and made small talk with some of my neighbors who were waiting at the stop with me.  

Then it happened.  One of the neighbor ladies, who I’ve never talked to much before, asked me a question ruined my entire afternoon.  She asked me if I was pregnant.  

Now, if I was pregnant, even a tiny bit, the question would not have stung.  But I’m not.  Not in the slightest.  Just, no.

I’ve never been the type of person who’s been able to disguise how I’m feeling very well so I’m sure my face said it all.  I gave her a simple “no,” after which there was much backtracking on her part.

I went home and scoured my closet for a dress to wear to the upcoming wedding only to find that of course nothing looked good enough anymore and every dress accentuated parts of my body that I wanted to hide.

At this point I had two choices.  I could internalize the comment, which is my natural reaction, or I could reach out to the beautiful women around me.  Beautiful on the inside and out.  I chose to do that latter, and I am so glad.

I found encouragement.  I found lots of “What the….”  I found empathy.  And I felt better.  So much better.

Having kids changes your body.  Having two c-sections changes it even more.  And even if you lose the baby weight, chances are you will never look like you did in high school.  And that’s ok.  The blessing of having two little ones running around the house, laughing, playing, and sharing memories is worth so, so much more.

Having friends to walk the road with you and be with you through the ups and downs…well, that’s priceless.


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